So, here I was, diagnosed with burn-out. What scared me the most: I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t know what I was good at, what made me happy and most importantly, I didn’t know what to do with my life. One thing I was sure about: It couldn’t stay like this.
I had to find a way to rebuild myself from pieces. That’s how I felt, being broken into pieces which didn’t want to fit together anymore.
I knew I had to get out of this negative loop so I started watching motivational videos of Brian Tracy, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Tony Robbins on YouTube. They helped me think a bit more positive – one step at a time.
I read somewhere I should write a list about things I liked, even little things like reading a good book or taking a walk at the lake. I did. It felt good to have a list showing that I could still enjoy life, still had a will to live.
It was also suggested to ask friends which profession they thought would fit me. I did so and I could put a pretty diverse list together. There were some common characteristics among the job titles though: supporting, guiding people. That very thing I couldn’t imagine for myself at the moment.
I acknowledged and appreciated the help of my friends but had to put the list aside. I just wasn’t ready for working with people again.
Day by day, I motivated myself to do one task, e.g. cleaning the apartment, doing the grocery shopping, cooking something for lunch, taking a short walk. I wasn’t able to do all these things in a day, I had to split up the chores.
Even if they were baby steps, every little step mattered. The fact that I accomplished something gave me energy and a tiny bit of self-confidence and I started to feel somewhat better.
Since I was certain I couldn’t teach or coach again, I tried new things to find out if they gave me pleasure. I started drawing and sketching. It was a nice and creative experience but it didn’t fit me.
I started learning Italian, a real passion of mine, which was great at the beginning. After a while I couldn’t proceed without a teacher and fellow students, for which I just wasn’t ready, so I stopped. It’s still on my bucket list.
I also wanted to volunteer at a dog shelter but here in Austria, they required a kind of professional training even for that, so I had to skip it.
Experimenting was fun though. It gave me perspective and helped me create a daily routine.
I think it is extremely important. Burnout is a state you can only come out of if you have something to live for, find joy in the little things and know something new, something exciting awaits you the next day. So I created those little moments of experimenting for myself – at first only at home.
Later I started taking longer and longer walks. I noticed how good it was to be in the forest. Stillness, fresh air, the smell of leaves and soil. It cleared my mind and put me in a peaceful state. I always returned home full of hope.
Just like after sitting on the lake shore for hours and watching the water – another thing I still like to do. It’s even better with a good book and some red wine. 😉
As my body & mind got more and more relaxed through the weeks, I grew stronger mentally as well. Two months into my personal rehab, I started to feel the need to contribute in some way. I still wasn’t ready to work with people directly, so I had to find another way to give something back.
When I used to work with adolescents, it made me very sad how disappointed they were, how hopeless they’ve felt. They struggled with not being good enough, smart enough, Austrian enough, whatever enough. They had all kind of complexes and a very low self-esteem.
I figured I had to reach out to the younger generations and motivate them so that they never ever feel that way when they left school. So I started writing an adventure book for kids.
I was so excited! I gave in fully for my new project and within 2,5 weeks I put the whole story together. Then I hired a young woman to illustrate it. It was about a treasure hunt, so she drew a cool map as well. Then I started to send an excerpt of my story to different publishers and got very creative at the end. Once I sent them only the treasure map with a note to contact me if they wanted to know more.
It was a totally new experience and although my book got never published, I have learned a lot along the way. This project was my writing therapy to get out of the darkness of the burn-out.
If you have ever felt so down or even had a burn-out, I really encourage you to try different things. Anytime you find something you like, make yourself a note. This way you will have a list of amazing things you like to do and it will help you find back to yourself.
Let me know in the comments or in a message what method, technique helped you the most.
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